The Parable of the Scarecrow

Image by Screamenteagle from Pixabay

I recently finished a book called "The Wealthy Gardener" by John Soforic and I love one of the stories in the book called "The Parable of the Scarecrow".

The story goes that there was once a scarecrow who had a brain, heart and the ability to walk.  Sounds like the one in The Wizard of Oz but no, this is a different scarecrow. :) 

Anyway, for several years after the scarecrow was planted, he acted like all other scarecrows - he stayed motionless even if he had the ability to walk.  Eventually, the crows lost their fear of the scarecrow.  

One day, there was a crow that perched on the arm of the scarecrow and it took a peck at one of his straws and flew away with it.   The following day, the same crow did the same thing - he took a peck at the scarecrow and took another straw.  

The scarecrow started to feel he was weakening.  He felt vulnerable, he was worried, there was fear of survival.  He also sensed a strange pull to leave the field (he could walk after all) but he felt uncertain about walking into the unknown.  He decided to stay in his steady position coz he was a scarecrow after all and it was just logical for him to act like one.  

But each day, crows continued to peck at him, taking straws.  Day after day, he died a slow death.  Despite of all the worries, fears and the inner voice telling him to leave the field, he chose to stay and ignored his thoughts and feelings. Until, one day, the pecking felt normal.  And until one day, the crows took his last straw and he slumped forward lifeless.  The scarecrow never got to use his innate abilities. 😢

Such a sad story but here's the moral of the story so we could learn from the scarecrow -

The fears, emotions, the strange pull to do something was the scarecrows's inner wisdom urging him to do something.  

Soforic shares - Fear, boredom, worry, dread are an emotional guidance system that is screaming at us to change. If we fail to listen, the inner voice will slowly fade...Whenever you feel stressed, anxious, worried or uneasy about any part of your life, it’s nature’s way of telling you that something is wrong. It’s a message that there is something that you need to address or deal with. There is something that you need to do more or less of. There’s something that you need to get into or out of... 

The challenge is it all leads into the unknown. We don't always get to see the end destination when we choose our direction. Sometimes a feeling is all you have to guide the way...  It’s not easy to follow the heart but sometimes we must.  Since the eyes cant always see what the heart can hear, it sometimes wisest to close our eyes.

Of course, we need to discern when it's plain emotion versus inner wisdom nudging us to make sure we don't act impulsively. 😉

What separates the great from the good

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I was reading an article on LifeHack about what separates the successful from the mediocre and it illustrated it in the form of this insightful story:

An aging farmer realized he was becoming too old to care for his farm, and was now ready to pass his farm down to one of his two sons. When he brought his sons together to discuss his decision, he told them: The farm will go to the younger son.

The older son was furious! “How could you not give the farm to me?! I have worked here longer!” he fumed.

The father sat patiently, thinking.

“Okay,” the father said to the older son, “I need you to do something for me. We need more stocks. Will you go to Cibi’s farm and see if he has any cows for sale?”

The older son shortly returned and reported, “Father, Cibi has 6 cows for sale.”

The father graciously thanked the older son for his work. He then turned to the younger son and said, “I need you to do something for me. We need more stocks. Will you go to Cibi’s farm and see if he has any cows for sale?”

The younger son did as he was asked. A short while later, he returned and reported, “Father, Cibi has 6 cows for sale. Each cow will cost 2,000 rupees. If we are thinking about buying more than 6 cows, Cibi said he would be willing to reduce the price 100 rupees. Cibi also said they are getting special jersey cows next week if we aren’t in a hurry, it may be good to wait. However, if we need the cows urgently, Cibi said he could deliver the cows tomorrow.”

The father graciously thanked the younger son for his work. He then turned to the older son and said, “That’s why your younger brother is getting the farm.”

Nice story, right?

Just replace the story's setting to work, school, business, etc. and clearly, it helps us understand what truly sets apart the great from the good. :) 

What matters in life? Lessons from the American businessman and the Mexican fisherman

Every now and then, opportunities come my way but I always go through the process if it's something that I really want.   Recently, there came another opportunity which most would probably think I am crazy for not pursuing it but my basis for important decisions like this is to always go back to what really matters in my life.   

A story which is close to my heart when I need a refresher on what matters in life is the tale about the American businessman and the Mexican fisherman.  If you haven't heard about this story yet, read on and you might be surprised on what you'll realize. :)

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A vacationing American businessman standing on the pier of a quaint coastal fishing village in southern Mexico watched as a small boat with just one young Mexican fisherman pulled into the dock. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. Enjoying the warmth of the early afternoon sun, the American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

"How long did it take you to catch them?" the American casually asked.

"Oh, a few hours," the Mexican fisherman replied.

"Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" the American businessman then asked.

The Mexican warmly replied, "With this I have more than enough to meet my family's needs."

The businessman then became serious, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

Responding with a smile, the Mexican fisherman answered, "I sleep late, play with my children, watch ball games, and take siesta with my wife. Sometimes in the evenings I take a stroll into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, sing a few songs..."

The American businessman impatiently interrupted, "Look, I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you to be more profitable. You can start by fishing several hours longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra money, you can buy a bigger boat. With the additional income that larger boat will bring, before long you can buy a second boat, then a third one, and so on, until you have an entire fleet of fishing boats."

Proud of his own sharp thinking, he excitedly elaborated a grand scheme which could bring even bigger profits, "Then, instead of selling your catch to a middleman you'll be able to sell your fish directly to the processor, or even open your own cannery. Eventually, you could control the product, processing and distribution. You could leave this tiny coastal village and move to Mexico City, or possibly even Los Angeles or New York City, where you could even further expand your enterprise."

Having never thought of such things, the Mexican fisherman asked, "But how long will all this take?"

After a rapid mental calculation, the Harvard MBA pronounced, "Probably about 15-20 years, maybe less if you work really hard."

"And then what, señor?" asked the fisherman.

"Why, that's the best part!" answered the businessman with a laugh. "When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions? Really? What would I do with it all?" asked the young fisherman in disbelief.

The businessman boasted, "Then you could happily retire with all the money you've made. You could move to a quaint coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, play with your grandchildren, watch ball games, and take siesta with your wife. You could stroll to the village in the evenings where you could play the guitar and sing with your friends all you want."

What it takes to prove something - the Shaolin Way

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I've read this beautiful story about a Shaolin monk twice already and I thought of sharing it.  The story teaches us on how to reflect on our actions - especially when  you're out to prove something.

I couldn't remember where I first read the story, but the second time was from the book "The Shaolin Way" by Steve Demasco.

Here you go:

Many years ago, an old Shaolin monk would take the same walk through the forest near his home every day. 

On one of his walks, he ran into a young and very fit man. The young man, thinking he was sharper than the old monk, decided to challenge the master to a fight. 

The old man refused to spar with the cocky young fellow, telling him, “No thank you, young brother and may Buddha bless you.”

For months, this went on.  Each morning, the young warrior would wait for the old monk and challenge him again. 

Finally, even the Shaolin monk - he, of great inner peace and tolerance - could take no more.  Worn down, he accepted the younger man’s offer to fight.  They bowed, and then squared off.

Just before the young warrior was to make his attack, the old Shaolin monk lay down on the ground. The young warrior, puzzled, looked down at the monk. “How can I beat you if you are already down?” the young man fumed, scratching his head and shaking his fist. 

Quietly, the Shaolin warrior monk looked up into the warrior’s angry eyes and replied, “Exactly.”
 
Confused and frustrated, the proud and foolish young man stormed off into the forest. His utter lack of self and pride demonstrated, the old monk shuffled off to complete his walk, and the young warrior never bothered the Shaolin monk again.

The big lesson? Self-worth doesn’t come from proving things to others; it comes from proving things to ourselves.

As Demasco pointed out, if you have something to prove to a parent, boss or anyone, it just shows that you don’t believe in yourself enough to know already that you can handle the situation.  In the same way, if the young warrior really knew he was good enough to beat the Shaolin master, he would never have tried to fight him in the first place.

Telemachus: The man who put an end to gladiator fights

I've recently come across the story on how the gladiator games in Rome have come to an end.  The story so moved me that I started reading up on gladiators and finding out more about the last day they fought at the Colosseum.

I've actually been to the Colosseum twice already but I don't remember hearing this story.  I could only think of 2 probable reasons - attention deficit or poor memory - either way, it doesn't sound good considering both of my visits were just in the last 5 years!  Waaaa.....

Anyway, gladiator games are believed to have originated as rites of sacrifice to honor the dead and to appease the spirits with blood offering.  In Rome, gladiator games started in 264 BC.

Most gladiators were prisoners of war, slaves, or criminals. Free men also volunteered to be gladiators - these were mostly social outcasts, freed slaves, discharged soldiers, or retired gladiators who opted to return to service.

The Colosseum in Rome is said to be the largest and magnificent of amphitheaters in the world. It was inaugurated in AD 80 and could hold up to 50,000 to 80,000 spectators.   Other than gladiator games, they also held public spectacles, animal hunts, public executions of Christian martyrs who refused to renounce their faith, and mythology re-enactments in the arena.

During a gladiator game,  if a man falls down, the spectators would either shout "Let him go" or "Kill him".  To plea mercy either from his opponent or from the judge, the wounded gladiator could raise his left hand's index finger (assuming he still has the energy to raise his hand).  The emperor then makes the final decision and usually heeds to the crowd for political reasons.

Sometime in the 400 AD, there lived a monk named Telemachus from Asia Minor (somewhere in Turkey).  At that time, gladiator games were still very popular in Rome.  Telemachus was disturbed since the Emperor then (Emperor Honorius) was a Christian and yet he sponsored the games.  A lot of the spectators also called themselves Christians and yet they found entertainment in watching men fight to death.

One day, Telemachus got an urge to go to Rome.  When he arrived in Rome, he didn't know where to go.  But Telemachus was swept along by the crowds in jubilation of the recent victory against the Goths.  He soon found himself on the way to the Colosseum.

While in the Colosseum, he witnessed gladiators fighting each other without pity amidst cheering crowds.  He couldn't stand it and thought he should do something about it.  He found his way to the arena and leapt in between the gladiators crying "Stop, stop, in the name of Christ I beg you to stop!".  The audience initially found it a comic relief to see a scrawny figure in between the gladiators and started roaring with laughter.  But as time went on, the spectators booed him as he was spoiling the fun.

There are various versions on how Telemachus died but one account said he was stoned to death by the crowd, and another version said the gladiators speared him to death.  But in all versions, what was consistent was that Telemachus died repeatedly crying "Stop, stop, in the name of Christ I beg you to stop!".

As people watched him die, silence overcame the Colosseum.  Suddenly, one by one, the spectators started exiting the Colosseum.   That was the last day gladiators fought in the Colosseum.

Telemachus' courageous act changed the hearts of the crowd. That was January 1, 404 AD - the date of St. Telemachus' martyrdom. And that same day, Emperor Honorius issued the historic ban on all gladiator fights.

A lesson on Gratitude and Generosity

I'm currently reading a book which tells a story that deeply moved me.  

Father Arrupe, a Jesuit priest, was once visiting some other Jesuits working in the slums of Latin America.  During the visit, he celebrated mass for the local people.  Here were his words from an interview:

When the mass was over, a big man whose hang-dog look (guilty look) made me almost afraid said, "Come to my place. I have something to give you."  

I was undecided.  I didn't know whether to accept or not, but the priest who was with me said, "Accept, Father, they are good people." 

I went to his place; his house was a hovel (an open, low shed) nearly on the point of collapsing.  He had me sit down on an old, rickety old chair.  From there, I could see the sunset.

The big man said to me, "Look, Sir, how beautiful it is!"  We sat in silence for several minutes.  The sun disappeared.  

The man then said, "I don't know how to thank you for all you have done for us.  I have nothing to give you, but I thought you would like to see this sunset.  You liked it, didn't you?  Good evening." And then he shook my hand.  

What a beautiful story! May it inspire us to be more grateful and generous. :)

How to get rid of the “entitled” mentality

These days, I often hear people comment that most young people feel “entitled” (entitlement mentality).  They say it’s because the parents, in the hope of giving the best, provided them with the best things and the most convenient means they could afford.

And maybe someone who has never experienced so much difficulty in life may have a hard time appreciating, or even grasping the concept of hard labor and sacrifice as the story below illustrates.   It’s a story about a young, promising graduate and his mom who put him through the best schools by washing clothes.

This heart-tugging story is a must-read for parents but equally enlightening for us singles and non-parents as it reminds us to look back and appreciate our parents’ hard work and sacrifices.
Read on…

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One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.  He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"  The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.  That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered," I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes.

The Director asked,"please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

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P.S.  I found the story reposted on FB, unfortunately, there was no source or reference. I tried googling for the source but all those who re-posted the story online didn’t indicate any source either. To the unknown author, thanks for the beautiful story!:)

Why Everyday is a Special Occasion

I remember reading this story years ago.  Like most people, I used to set aside some things for particular occasions. But after reading this story, I've started using most of my things for regular use.  I barely own things now that I rarely use.  And if I do, it means, it's time to give them away.

Enjoy reading the story.:)  

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Take Hold of Every Moment (Author Unknown)

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

"This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

"She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion.

Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said:

"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now.

I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.

She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days". I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day. Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.

The story of Tanzan and Ekido: How to let go of negativity

If you're having a hard time letting go of negative thoughts and emotions, here's an enlightening story from Eckhart Tolle's New Earth entitled "Carrying the Past".

There were 2 Zen monks - Tanzan and Ekido - walking together one day in a muddy road. Along the way, they came upon a young woman, wearing a kimono, who was trying to cross the road. But because the mud was deep, it would surely ruin her kimono so Tanzan picked her up and carried her to the other side of the road.

The 2 monks walked in silence. After 5 hours and nearing their temple, Ekido asked:
"Why did you carry the woman? We, monks, aren't supposed to do things like that."

Tanzan replied: "I put the girl down hours ago. Are you still carrying her?"

Imagine how life would be if we're like Ekido! Unable and unwilling to let go internally and accumulating unnecessary mental baggage. Such waste of time and energy. Moral of the story? Let's nip negative thoughts in the bud because really, there's no good reason to collect and carry them in the first place:)