Wednesday, March 13, 2024

How to Prepare for Death

Don't judge this blogpost - it isn't morbid even if the title sounds so. 😅 But warning - it's really hard-hitting! 

For some context, I like to read books about death and mortality, and have written about this topic several times throughout the years.  Thinking about our own mortality makes us appreciate life more and gives us mental clarity about our priorities in life.  And I've always thought I have achieved some level of clarity already - until I randomly stumbled upon a book called "Preparation for Death: Prayers and Consolation for the Final Journey (Excerpts from St. Alphonsus Liguori)".

How I discovered this book was accidental.  One lunch break, I went to a Catholic bookstore looking for communion bread as someone asked me to buy some.  Unfortunately, communion bread was out of stock, but since I was in the bookstore already, I quickly scanned books on display and picked some to buy just on the basis of the titles.   The book "Preparation for Death" was one of the many books I bought. 

Days after, I have this 90+-year old neighbor who asked me for suggestions on what else to put in his bucket list. Thinking that he was probably bored, I asked him if he wanted to read some books so I could lend him, and he said yes.   At first I was thinking - should I include the book "Preparation for Death"? - as he or his wife might get offended why I am lending such book! 😅  In the end, I decided to include it but I had to deliver the books personally so I have a chance to explain why I have that kind of book, and again, it's because I am fascinated by the topic of death/mortality. 

Guess what? My 90+-year old neighbor read it right away, finished it so fast, and he liked it so much that he messaged me he is going to the bookstore to buy 10 copies to give away to friends! Wow...  

Finally, I got the chance to read the book this week and I wanted to share some key points, excerpts and realizations.  I hope these snippets would also allow you to reflect about your life and priorities:

  • Our most important duty on earth is to make sure we save our soul so we go to heaven and be with God when we die.  But we often overlook this especially when we're young as we think we'll live long enough. We get busy with life goals, career goals, financial goals, health goals...  Yes, some of us do have spiritual goals, but shamefully, it's just one of the areas in life.  And we typically do bare minimum on our spiritual goals (e.g. going to Mass every Sunday and holy days of obligation), thinking we could intensify our efforts in serving God when we retire and have more time.  The thing is, we could die anytime.   

  • If we're able to excel in doing projects or giving stellar performance in our day jobs, why shouldn't we exert focus and effort to save our souls more often?  If we're able to do comprehensive performance appraisals every year or undergo annual health check ups, why aren't we doing a regular assessment on how we are doing in the eyes of God? If we are able to set higher targets or higher standards every year, why do we keep on backsliding when it comes to sinning?  Why aren't we regularly setting higher standards for our soul?

  • When we lose something like money on an investment, we get restless, lose sleep and exhaust efforts to figure out how to recover what we lost.  When we offend or hurt someone, we get bothered and anxious, and won't have peace of mind until our apology is accepted.   But when we sin and offend God, how come we are able to sleep normally even if it takes months and years before we confess? And we're able to even joke about it or laugh about it?  Insane, right?  What have we become??? 😢  We got everything so wrong. 😩  If we lose our soul, we lose everything. "For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? (Mt 16:26).  We need to keep on repeating this verse in our heads so we are reminded that our only duty on earth is to save our soul and be with God for eternity.

  • Oftentimes, we take time for granted.  When asked how are we spending our spare time, some reply "by killing time". That's time lost which could have been used for something worthwhile and good.  When you know you're dying, won't you beg God for another year, another month, or even another day or hour of extension?  Except that our death can come as a surprise - thus, we might not even get a chance to negotiate with God.  Any time not spent in some way for God is lost time.

  • When we sin or offend God for the sake of our own pleasure, we make pleasure our god.   It's a sign that we put more value to our pleasure over how much we value God. 😭

  • On the day we die, we shall lose all our earthly possessions - honors, riches, pleasures. What we can take with us to eternity are our acts of virtue and the good things which we have done during our lifetime.  To see the true value of earthly goods, we need to look at them from the perspective of our deathbed.  We won't be able to bring any of our material possessions in the afterlife.  Another great reminder from Jesus:  "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal." (Mt 6:20)

  • We need to pray in order to preserve our soul. When we are tempted to sin or when we are in a state of sin, we shouldn't stop praying, in fact, we need to pray even harder - to ask God's help so we don't get lost.  Jesus said: "Pray without ceasing." (1Thes 5:17). Because if we die with a mortal sin/state of sin, we don't have any excuse if God asks us - if you didn't have the strength to resist the temptation, why didn't you ask for My help?  If you fell into sin, why didn't you ask for My forgiveness? 😭  We have 24/7 access to God - there is no excuse not to talk to Him and ask Him for His help especially if we find ourselves in constant temptation or constant exposure to occasions of sin.

  • When we pray, we need to pray with (1) humility, (2) with confidence and trust in God, and (3) with perseverance. "So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." (Mk 11:24)  Sadly though, we oftentimes pray only for temporal favors like money, health and earthly goods. 😞  We should pray more to ask for spiritual graces like pardon and divine love.   

  • Reflect on the commandments of God and examine yourself on how you have lived according to the commandments.  Examine your motives to see if you are too attached to worldly things, to any particular person, to any special honor,  to your home, to your money...  Recall as fully as possible the sins you may have committed and go to confession in full sorrow.  Banish from your heart all sinful affections, all feelings of anger and hatred for others.

  • What we can do to keep ourselves in God's grace?  Pray often, go to Mass frequently and receive Holy Communion often, read the Bible and meditate on teachings, go to confession, make visits to the Blessed Sacrament, have a devotion to our Lady (ask for her help to pray for us!), examine our conscience daily and read spiritual books, among others.

  • When we come to serve God, prepare for more testing as enemies will intensify efforts - they will try harder to make us fail.  Saint Paul says that "our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." (Eph 6:12)

  • We need to avoid occasions of sin - people, places, things - that cause us to sin.  The devil is scheming when it comes to tempting good people - he doesn't use a chain to bind a person right away. He will use first a thread, a single hair, then a cord, then finally a chain to drag a person to sin (especially in committing sins against purity). Thus, we need to be more conscious in avoiding all occasions to sin (even the smallest ones that appear to be harmless on the surface).

  • Look more often and look long at the Crucifix.  When saints pondered the death of Christ, they had little difficulty in giving up everything they owned, their pleasures, their families, and even their lives.

  • In summary - we were not put on earth to enjoy, pursue self-gratification, make money, grow rich, accumulate assets, become powerful, reward ourselves... We are here to become the best souls that we can be (and help other souls too!) so many souls will be with God in heaven after this transitory stage on earth.  So why are we more concerned about earthly goals and things, instead of our final destiny?  Why are we prioritizing and spending more time crossing off worldly goals, leaving little or no time for our spiritual life?  We carve out time for work to earn, spend time with our families and friends, and pursue goals and accomplishments, but guess what?  At the hour of our death, no amount of wealth or accomplishments or power can save our souls, and no amount of prayers by our family and friends can help deliver us from hell if our soul is condemned. 😭  Yes, God is all merciful, but again - what if we won't have the chance to ask for His forgiveness when death unexpectedly arrives?  It's all up to us now.  The great news is - we still have the chance to correct our ways while we're still alive.  Help us to be good souls, God. 🙏 🙏