Takeaways from Spark Joy: How to organize your home the Konmari Method

Last year, I read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing" by Marie Kondo.  I held off reading Kondo's second book coz there were mixed reviews as some say the second book contains similar content as the first book.

Anyway, since I always look for some refresher/inspiration when it's time to do some decluttering, I decided to finally read the second book - "Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up".

Yes, the reviews were right but what's great about this second book are:  (1) it has illustrations on how to properly fold your clothes and organize your items vs the first book which only had text descriptions and (2) the author shares more real-life stories and experiences about her family and clients about tidying up and some of which may sound like our own stories.  😆

If you're a visual type of person, Spark Joy could be an easier read than the first book coz it has illustrations.  I got the Kindle Paperwhite copy so the illustrations are in black and white but here are samples of the colored illustrations from the physical book -

How to fold tops and shirts the KonMari method

How to fold plastic bags the KonMari method

What are my key takeaways from Spark Joy? Sharing with you my favorite lessons below but most of them are actually in the first book.   Still a good read though coz sometimes, it takes more than once or twice before lessons sink into my head! 😜😂 

• The important thing in tidying is not deciding what to discard but rather what you want to keep in your life.   

• Tidy by category - in this sequence -  (1) clothes, (2) books, (3) papers, (4) komono (miscellany), and (5) sentimental items.  When tidying a specific category e.g. clothes, gather all items of clothing in one spot; do not tidy up per location. Why?  When you gather all related items in one spot, it allows you to see (1) if there are duplicate items and (2) objectively assess how much you have per category.    Then you can start discarding.  You can only plan where to store them once you know how much needs to be stored. (Based on my personal experience, you have to store the items per category close together.  For example in my case, I had 3 different shelves where I stored assorted supplies and when I gathered all the items in one spot, I discovered I had a lot of duplicate items.😮 )     

• For storage, remember the rule of thumb is 90 percent.  Fill your drawers to the point where they look full but not stuffed.

•  Everything that can be stood on edge on its own without falling over should be stored upright in a drawer, rather than flat e.g. folded clothes, stationery supplies, etc. This doesn't just save on space but it allows you to (1) view all the content at one glance and (2) pull out an item easily.

• The 2 skills needed to successfully organize your home are: 

          (1) the ability to keep what sparks joy and discard the rest; and 

          (2) the ability to decide where to keep an item and to always put it back in its place.

• When buying something,  consider the design, the feel, the convenience, and every other factor most important to you - until you find one that you really love. 

• It’s far more important to adorn your home with the things you love than to keep it so bare it lacks anything that brings you joy. - Kondo

• Do you collect some themed stuff?  Here's a creative solution from Kondo.  One of  her clients, for example, love mushrooms -  she has mushroom postcards, erasers, figurines, keychains, even an ear pick with a mushroom on the handle!  Why does she like mushrooms?  "It's their modesty, they flourish in the shade of great trees," the client explained.  Just talking about her mushroom stuff collection brought her a lot of joy but unfortunately, all the items were stored out of sight. They were still in individual plastic wrappers and boxes, and collectively, they were stored in a tin can. The owner would open the tin can once a month to look at them.  Kondo thought even if the owner spent 2 hours looking at them each time, she would only get 24 hours of joy from them in 1 whole year!  So what Kondo suggested was for the client to create her own personal mushroom space inside her closet. She decorated the fronts of her clear plastic storage boxes with mushroom postcards, covered the spare bedding with a large mushroom-patterned cloth, hung her mushroom keychains around the necks of her hangers, and displayed her mushroom miniatures in a basket on one of the shelves.  Now the owner gets to see her favorite mushroom-themed items everyday. 

• When you realize that you have just the right amount of stuff - a feeling that you know you have all you need to feel content - is what Kondo calls the click point. 

• Are you a bookworm? Here's a good insight from Kondo so you it won't be a struggle to part with your old books:  We read books because we seek the experience of reading. Once read, a book has already been “experienced.” Even if you don’t remember the content completely, you have already internalized it.  (In my case, writing about my key takeaways after reading a book is my closure so I could easily refer to the lessons without having to re-read the entire book. 😉)

• Is your garbage not picked up everyday?  If yes, to prevent your kitchen from smelling bad,  you can put your kitchen scraps such as fruit and vegetable peelings, chicken bones in a plastic bag or plastic container (just drain them well) and store them in the freezer.  Though you may think the idea is yucky, Kondo points out that the scraps are put in the freezer before they begin to rot, thus, they are still part of the food we just ate and thus, not garbage yet.   

• Do you keep physical diaries/journals? Flip through them and reminisce about things that happened and keep only those that still spark joy. Or you can adopt the criterion of one Kondo's clients - to discard those that she would have felt embarrassed to have anyone read after she died.

• Do you still have albums of printed photos?  Kondo recommends to remove all photos from the albums, lay them out on the floor so you can arrange them per year and review each one.  Keep those which bring joy (or as one of her clients put it - where you look good 😁 ) and let go of photos that (1) don't bring joy, (2)  look similar, or (3) scenes you don’t really remember.   Then put them in one nice album.  Kondo explains, "Photos will only keep your memories alive when they have been arranged so that you can enjoy them whenever you like".

• How about organizing and decluttering digital photos and digital data?  Kondo says the same principle applies: Choose what you wish to keep, not what you are going to discard. You will never finish if you approach it by trying to decide which ones to erase when there are so many possibilities.  

****

Though Kondo encourages people to tidy up, her advocacy is not minimalism but it's more for people to learn how to keep only the things that bring them joy and to keep them in an organized way so they are accessible (and not forgotten).  And even if the concept of tidying up focuses on material things, Kondo's final reminder goes beyond materialism.

Towards the end of the book, she shares this story when one time, her family went out for a picnic lunch to watch the cherry blossoms.  Her mom prepared them a beautifully packed lunch with such loving care that touched her heart.   Her mom also brought a bottle of pink-hued amazake (a beverage from sweet fermented rice) and she served the beverage in small pink glasses with cherry blossom patterns.

When the glasses were filled with the pink amazake, Kondo said "it looked like cherry blossoms were blooming in our glasses. How beautiful! The blossoms I viewed that day with my family were the best I had ever seen." 

Kondo further shares -

The glasses were an expression of my mother’s love and affection, chosen out of her desire to make that day special for us ... I had seen those glasses in our house many times and had always thought they were pretty, but they had been transformed into “those special cups that my mother filled with amazake when we went to view the blossoms.” 

I realized that the value of things with which I have spent precious hours alone cannot compare with the value of things that bear precious memories of time spent with other people. My favorite clothes and shoes are special, and I wear them constantly, but they can’t compete with things that have been steeped in memories of the people I love. 

I realized that what I had really longed for was just to be with my family. Compared to the amount of time I spent with my possessions, myself, and my work, I had spent far less time interacting with my loved ones.  Of course, I will still continue to value my time alone. But the purpose of it is to nurture me so that I can enjoy an even more fulfilling time with my loved ones, so that I can contribute even more to the happiness of the others around me.

How to Wake Yourself Up from a Nightmare

Hack #1:  Try to wiggle your toes back and forth
Image Source 

If you've ever experienced having a nightmare, you know the feeling of helplessness. Your mind is conscious but you can't seem to do anything. The tendency is to either move your body but you feel paralyzed, or you try to call for help but no sound comes out of your mouth.

A hack which was shared to me before was instead of trying to move your body, you need to try to move your extremities like your fingers or toes. Focus and wiggle your toes back and forth until you break the paralysis. I took a mental note of this though it occurred to me if I do have a nightmare, will I be able to even remember this trick?!

What happened?  The next time I had a nightmare, I did recall that there was some kind of hack I needed to do but I couldn't remember what it was! Haha.... So while I was paralyzed, I tried to recall what the hack was. Eventually, I remembered that it was to wiggle my toes. Initially, I couldn't move my toes but I focused and slowly, I was able to move them and it worked. I woke up. Whew!

I quickly googled if wiggling toes is a recognized hack to wake yourself from a nightmare and it is.  I also discovered several other hacks.  Here you go -

- Don't fight back coz fighting back will heighten your fear.  Tell yourself it's ok.

- If you feel pressure against your chest, try not to go against it but rather go with the pressure.  For example if you're being pushed against the mattress, just allow yourself to be moved to that direction.

-  Clench and unclench your fist.   This is another alternative to wiggling your toes.   Like what I experienced in wiggling my toes, you may not be able to immediately move them but just focus and slowly, they would budge.

-  Do controlled breathing.  Breathe in normally then exhale fully.  Just repeatedly do this.

-  Think of someone who calms you down.  Usually, I resort to prayer. 

-  Try to cough on purpose.  Do it repeatedly.  

- Make a face like you smelled something bad or squint.  Again, do it repeatedly. 

Articles say you don't have to remember all of these.  In fact, it might be counterproductive to try to do all of them.  So the reco is to just make a mental note of 2 or 3 solutions on how to wake yourself up when you have a nightmare.   I am guessing since our mind is conscious when we have a nightmare, somehow, we'll really be able to to retrieve our mental notes. 

How to write a Last Will even without the help of a lawyer

Source

My last post was about mortality, now it's about writing a last will.  What a back-to-back post. Haha... 

But again, this is not morbid.  It's a very educational topic.  Haha...

For example, did you know that you can write a Last Will even without the help of a lawyer?  This type of will is called a holographic will.  You can freely write it using your own language or writing style, and the only requirements are (1) it should be handwritten, (2) dated, and (3) signed.  That's it.  You don't even have to have a witness to sign it. It remains private and you can change it anytime you want.

But why write a Last Will?

A last will expresses one's wishes after he/she goes.  It guides loved ones on how to partition what one left because when there is no guide on how to divide it, conflicts usually arise.  

With a last will, one could explain why he/she chose to distribute in  such a way (although there is a required minimum distribution to compulsory heirs mandated by law.  The only ones who could distribute to anyone, as long as the recipient/s is/are not prohibited by law, are those without parents and kids).  

By writing a last will, you could also opt to give to people outside your family, for example, your favorite charitable institutions.   

What happens if you don't have a Last Will?

In the absence of any will, heirs come into succession by operation of law (family members nearest in degree).  And if there are no qualified heirs or relatives within the 5th degree, the state will inherit the whole estate.  

See, I told you this is very educational. Haha....   I learned all about these by reading "Thy Will Done" by Atty. Angelo Cabrera which talks about estate planning in the Philippine setting.   

The book also cites some true-to-life horror stories of people distributing their estate prematurely to avoid estate taxes.   One story was about these parents who transferred the house they were living in to their only son (he was married with kids). Their son passed away unexpectedly and without a will, the ownership of the house automatically went to their daughter-in-law and the grandchildren.  The daughter-in-law remarried and she sold the house and so the parents got evicted from their own home. :(   How heartbreaking...  

The book also contains a sample holographic will which I think is beautifully written.  It was written by a dad and in gist, the dad told his kids that his wish was for everything to go to their mom since the kids were doing well financially already.  But the dad said that if the kids weren't ok with giving everything to the mom, he'll perfectly understand too so he gave some equitable distribution of his properties (within the prescribed distribution by law) just in case.  

In addition to a last will, one could also do a separate letter of instructions - if one wants to keep some instructions in private since the last will will be publicly shared with people outside of the family.  What could be in the letter of instructions?

- the list of people (and their contact details) you want notified when you go

- funeral details like how many days you want your wake to be, where you want buried, etc. 

- how to dispose of your personal items

- name of person you want to be the executor of your estate (in the absence of a name, the court appoints one and since this person is a stranger, he/she may not be able to perform everything exactly how you want it to be)

Wow, the content of the letter of instructions requires some brainstorming, planning and project planning.  Haha...  

Lastly, did you know there's such a thing called a Living Will?   What's a Living Will?   It's a will that specifies your decision relating to medical treatment in the event that you become incapable of communicating e.g. if you become comatose.  This will help your family decide, for example, whether or not to take you off life support.   

Incidentally, one lunch time weeks ago (before I even read this book), my colleagues and I had a hypothetical discussion about this topic - what if you're in a situation wherein you need life support.  Do you want your family to put you on life support?   

One excitedly answered - "No, because when I wake up and see the hospital bill, for sure, I'll have cardiac arrest!"  Wahaha...  And we all agreed.  Haha.... 

How to remove hardened Mighty Bond or Epoxy from the skin

I was fixing something with Mighty Bond and I accidentally touched the super strength glue.  Uh-oh....

Anyway, hope this doesn't happen to you.  But just in case it does, don't panic because there's an easy solution.  All you need is petroleum jelly and a nail file.  Just rub some petroleum jelly on the affected skin (keep on rubbing until the hardened spot softens - this takes a few minutes), then gently scrape off the glue using a nail file.

Petroleum jelly

Nail file

I actually panicked when it happened. I tried wiping the glue but it ended up spreading on my fingers.  Waaa.... I washed my hands and the glue hardened that I could no longer feel any texture on my fingers.  I reached for my phone to google for a solution but my phone couldn't recognize my Touch ID because my thumb was covered with the hardened glue!  Good thing, I set up my phone to accept an alternative passcode so I was able to quickly google for a quick fix.  (So if you also use Touch ID, make sure you always provision a passcode in case of emergencies like this.). Then I had to quickly walk over to Watson's to buy petroleum jelly and a nail file because I didn't have both at home.  Haha...

And yes, after scraping off all the glue from my fingers, my phone recognised my thumbmark again.  No damage on my skin.  Whew...