While reading "A Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything: A Spirituality in Real Life" by Fr. James Martin, SJ, there was something about what he said on praying which jolted me. He shared that when he was a young boy, he used to think God as the Great Problem Solver who would fix all his problems if he just prayed hard enough. His prayers went like "Let me get an A on my social studies test... Let me do well in math... Let tomorrow be a snowy day." That reminded me about my prayers as a child too - praying to get a good grade but not really studying hard enough... Praying for a sunny weather on weekends when it's time play .... and secretly praying that there will be a typhoon so there won't be classes (but during those times, signal # 2 typhoons didn't cause much flooding as they do now!).
Fr. Martin shared that as he grew older, the model of God as the Great Problem Solver collapsed because he realized God didn't seem interested in solving all his problems as he prayed and prayed and prayed but all his problems weren't still solved. And eventually, he saw and experienced God in many different lights.
This really struck me because I still view God as the Great Problem Solver. I've never progressed! Waaaa...... I still say petitionary prayers and hope they get answered - the only difference between now and when I was a kid is I'm more patient now (and don't pray for a signal #3 typhoon so work will be called off!). And if my prayers don't get answered immediately, I know and hope they will eventually!
Fr. Martin cautions people who say petitionary prayers (asking God for something) of its pitfalls. He says it can remove from our spiritual lives an awareness of God's freedom and may move into the realm of superstition and even magic. You might feel that if you pray a certain prayer, or in a certain way, or use a fixed number of repetitions, you might just be able to cajole God into doing something, to force God to respond. He underlines that prayers are not spells or incantations designed to make something happen. Ouch! Because sometimes I think God will answer my prayers out of kakulitan (persistence)! Haha...
I seriously have to work on re-learning how to pray. But the great news is "No form of prayer is better than another" as the book mentions. So maybe I'm not doing that bad either. (Ok, I'm just trying to justify and feel good. Haha...)
Moreover, being busy is not an excuse for not praying. Here's another excerpt from the book which really struck me:
Be careful when saying my work is my prayer. This may mean our work leads to God. Or it is an excuse for not praying. Or it may mean we're doing neither wholeheartedly.
Uh-oh....
Anyway, St Ignatius popularized a prayer structure called "examen" in Spanish which is a daily examination of conscience. It is a 5-step process which goes like this:
1. Give thanks for all the good things that happened during the day
2. Ask for grace to know your sins
3. Review your day and examine your learnings. Think of it like a movie playing in your head as the book suggests. What's important about reviewing your day is to notice what made you happy, or stressed, or confused, or more loving. And to also recall the sights, sounds, tastes, textures and conversations because each moment offers a window where God has been in our day.
4. Ask for forgiveness.
5. Ask for God's grace to help you the next day.
Then Close with a prayer like Our Father.
What's great about praying the examen regularly is it will also help us answer the question "Why doesn't God answer our prayer?" because as Fr Martin puts it - most of the time, we fail to recognize when God answers our prayers when they are not in the way we expect them to be. :)
