Last Friday, it was my first time to go to a wake where the remains of the deceased have been cremated. So in place of a coffin, an urn containing the ashes was placed in a gazebo surrounded by flowers.
I realized that somehow, the atmosphere was more relaxed than your typical wake. I was trying to analyze why, then I realized because perhaps, 2 out of 3 of the most difficult stages when losing a loved one are over. There are actually several difficult stages when you lose a loved one (probably even endless because you never totally get over it) but if I were to pin down the top 3 most difficult (in chronological order), for me, they are:
1. Upon learning that your loved one passed away.
2. Just before the coffin is closed and it hits you that it’s the last time you’ll ever see your loved one physically.
3. Spending occasions and activities (which you used to do with the loved one) for the first time without him/her. (This does not go without saying that the second, third, fourth, fifth…nth times aren’t hard because they are too.)
Ok, I don’t know where this article is heading because this is supposed to be positive living so let me end it here before I stray any further. Haha…But just one note - Losing someone who's young or whom you've known for a shorter time is equally painful as losing someone who's old or whom you've known for a longer time because when you love someone, you just couldn't get enough of that person. No length of years will ever be enough. But at the end of the day, no matter how short or how long a time we were given to spend with that loved one, we should be thankful that we were lucky to have been given a chance in the first place. :)
