The difference between being shy and an introvert

It surprises people when I tell them that I am an introvert.  They think I am kidding.  I am friendly (and ok, seem to be sociable), but that doesn't make me an extrovert.  I am candid too which means, I am not usually shy (but I do get shy in some situations) but that doesn't also disqualify me from being an introvert.

In the book, The Introvert’s Way by Sophia Dembling, a neuroscientist named Louis A. Schmidt, points out the difference between introversion and shyness. Schmidt defines introversion as a motivation - a weak desire to be with people. He defines shyness, on the other hand, as a behavior. Shy people are inhibited and uncomfortable in social situations.

In short, as an introvert, I don't mind socializing but too much socializing could drain me. If I have to go to 2 or 3 consecutive nights of social activities, that's beyond my quota for the week and I need to hibernate the following days. Haha...

So what are the other signs to know if you're an introvert?  Here are some from the book which I could totally relate to - 

• You could just sit, watch, observe and take time to notice what a place smells like. 
• You rarely get bored.
• You like people but in controlled doses and small numbers like a long lunch with a good friend or dinner get-togethers with a small group of close friends.
• You don't go to parties to meet new people but to enjoy the festivities. 
• You don't dangle the word "friend" freely. What an extrovert might call a friend, an introvert might call acquaintance.
• You like to read, look out of windows and go to the theater (because you get transported the moment the show starts).
• You celebrate days when you don't have anything scheduled on your calendar after work because that means "me" time in the evening.  As the author puts it, introverts consider nothing to do something to do. Haha....

And just because introverts like to spend "me" time, that doesn't mean introverts are lonely.  Loneliness is not about being physically alone; it's about how you feel about being alone - whether you feel emotionally or intellectually connected.   Introverts actually feel good about being alone.   We look forward to quiet evenings and can spend a weekend at home alone and not get bored. :)

So the next time someone who seems bubbly and sociable declares that he/she is actually an introvert, take it from me, it may not be a joke.  :)