It surprises people when I tell them that I am an introvert. They think I am kidding. I am friendly (and ok, seem to be sociable), but that doesn't make me an extrovert. I am candid too which means, I am not usually shy (but I do get shy in some situations) but that doesn't also disqualify me from being an introvert.
In the book, The Introvert’s Way by Sophia Dembling, a neuroscientist named Louis A. Schmidt, points out the difference between introversion and shyness. Schmidt defines introversion as a motivation - a weak desire to be with people. He defines shyness, on the other hand, as a behavior.Shy people are inhibited and uncomfortable in social situations.
In short, as an introvert, I don't mind socializing but too much socializing could drain me. If I have to go to 2 or 3 consecutive nights of social activities, that's beyond my quota for the week and I need to hibernate the following days. Haha...
So what are the other signs to know if you're an introvert? Here are some from the book which I could totally relate to -
You could just sit, watch, observe and take time to notice what a place smells like.
You rarely get bored.
You like people but in controlled doses and small numbers like a long lunch with a good friend or dinner get-togethers with a small group of close friends.
You don't go to parties to meet new people but to enjoy the festivities.
You don't dangle the word "friend" freely. What an extrovert might call a friend, an introvert might call acquaintance.
You like to read, look out of windows and go to the theater (because you get transported the moment the show starts).
You celebrate days when you don't have anything scheduled on your calendar after work because that means "me" time in the evening. As the author puts it, introverts consider nothing to do something to do. Haha....
And just because introverts like to spend "me" time, that doesn't mean introverts are lonely. Loneliness is not about being physically alone; it's about how you feel about being alone - whether you feel emotionally or intellectually connected. Introverts actually feel good about being alone. We look forward to quiet evenings and can spend a weekend at home alone and not get bored. :)
So the next time someone who seems bubbly and sociable declares that he/she is actually an introvert, take it from me, it may not be a joke. :)
The first time I realized I seriously needed to get into shape was in 2008 when we went on a pilgrimage tour to Holy Land. Most of our tour mates were senior citizens, there were even a handful beyond their 80s.
While in Israel, there was a a lot of walking uphill. My friend and I easily panted. Every time we stopped to catch our breath, a group of titas in their 70s walked past by us (ok, even my mom overtook us! Wahaha...). And when we travelled to Egypt and stayed overnight in a settlement at the foot of Mt Sinai, most of the titas and titos woke up at 4am to climb Mt Sinai to watch the sunrise (even though we only arrived there past 12 midnight which means less than 4 hours of sleep). As for me and my friend? We were dead tired snoring in our beds. We only woke up a couple of hours before our bus was scheduled to leave for Cairo. Wahaha...
During meals, we chatted with the titas to ask what is their secret to being in great shape and they said ballroom dancing and brisk walking specifically in the hilly sections of their village. Wow.
So inspired by them, during the past several years, I tried a lot of activities to get into shape - hot yoga, regular yoga, badminton, golf driving range, dance classes, gym memberships, fun runs, brisk walking at the park, home gym equipment . . . name it. Haha.... But there's always a pattern - I am highly motivated and intense at the start, then something happens and I lose momentum, then, it fizzles out. Plus there were a lot of excuses -
- I can't do it in the morning since I need to catch on sleep (or need to rush for work).
- I am too tired to work out at the end of the day.
- It's raining.
- No one's available to play <plug in whatever sports> with me.
- I'm lazy to change into gym clothes or lazy to go out (At the height of my laziness, I can't even get myself to go to the gym in the building where I live! Wahaha...) I wasn't able to sustain any single physical activity for long. Regardless of the activity, it usually fizzles out during rainy season and Christmas season. Haha.... Out of desperation, my last attempt was I got a personal trainor since I heard from some friends that trainors would force you to go to they gym even if it were raining hard. Hahaha... This attempt lasted for a year but I decided not to renew because -
- If I didn't have a full hour to spare, I skipped the workout since 1 hour is the minimum time to get your money's worth with a trainor. Thus, there were weeks when I would only work out twice, or worse, once a week which was way below the minimum recommended level of activity of at least 3x a week.
- I dreaded it every time my trainor made the workout more difficult. Why do I have to continue something that I don't enjoy and worse, even pay for it?! Wahaha...
So after processing all my past excuses, shortcomings and realizations, I finally found a fool-proof, sustainable way to work out - 10 to 20 minute fitness videos I do right at home. I've downloaded and saved workout videos on my iPad (my favorites are Fitness Blender workouts) and just play them in the morning. Why does it work for me?
- You can do it anytime. No more excuses that you don’t have time because it can be as short as 10 minutes.
- You can do it on your own...you're not dependent on the availability of friends.
- You don't need any gym equipment. Though if you prefer workouts that require weights, mat and resistance bands, you can too.
- You won't get bored because you have access to a wide variety of video workouts. You can do kickboxing, Zumba or Pilates on some days if you wish to.
- You can wear your pambahay (house) shirt and shorts...then just put on your socks and rubber shoes.
- It's free! No monthly fees to pay. :)
- And since it's just 10 to 20 minutes, you don’t feel as hungry (versus a 1-hour workout), thus, there's no urge to overeat!
But before I was able to make exercise a regular habit, there were 2 useful tips which helped me successfully develop it into a new habit:
1. I read somewhere that if you want to develop a new behavior, the first thing you need to do is not to focus on a performance-based goal (e.g. I want to be healthy or I want to lose xx pounds) but rather, focus on an identity-based goal (e.g. I'm the type of person who doesn't miss a workout). If you start believing that you're that type of person, then, it's easier to change your behavior. Though infrequent, there are still days when I do feel sluggish to work out (especially when it's raining - bed weather!) but then, I remember, I'm the type of person who doesn't miss a workout so I just do it. After all, it could be as short as 10 minutes to prove that I really don't miss a workout. :)
2. I also read somewhere that in order to form a new habit, it helps if you have a physical reminder. So I've placed my rubber shoes (with socks already inside) and my iPad in my line of vision when going to the bathroom so that in the morning, I don't forget what I'm supposed to do. :)
So far, I've been able to sustain this habit for 4 months. I do it daily except on Sundays and when I travel. I do hope I don't break it. And hopefully too, the next time I travel with titas and titos, I will be able to keep up with their pace without panting! Haha.... :)
