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When I first saw the title of the book "Wait, What? and other Life's Essential Questions", I thought that this is perhaps one of the typical books which asks deep questions about life that you need to answer as an exercise. It so happened I wasn't in the mood to reflect and answer any questions so I almost didn't buy it.😆 But then, I saw the author's name - James Ryan, Dean of Harvard’s Graduate School of Education and so I continued to check the book info and read some reviews. I found out that the original content came from a speech Ryan gave to a graduating class in 2016 but which was converted into a book after his speech went viral. At that point, I was so curious about the questions already! 😂 I clicked on "buy now". 😂
And I am so glad I did coz the questions weren't the typical questions you need to answer. 😅 But more of a frame of mind you could use to clarify, generate solutions and insights, and make decisions. Plus Ryan's story about his adoptive parents and biological mom was so moving. It activated my tear ducts. 🙈 He didn't have plans to ever search for his biological mom but the idea to search for her was triggered by one of the questions.
You ask this to ask the other person to repeat he/she just said to be sure you clearly understood it right. This allows you to clarify something, slow down and not jump into conclusions and make quick judgments.
2. I wonder why...? I wonder if...
Asking "I wonder why..." helps you to stay curious and discover new insights. Asking "I wonder if..." helps you to explore new ideas, solutions and options. This is the question which triggered Ryan to search for his biological mom.
3. Couldn’t we at least ...?
Asking "Couldn't we at least..." helps you get un-stuck when you think you're not progressing and also helps you overcome fear when you want to try something new. Asking "Couldn’t we at least agree" also generates consensus within a group.
4. How Can I Help?
Asking someone how you can help him/her is about showing sympathy and empathy. Instead of immediately getting into action to help, it's better to ask the person first what kind of help he/she needs. Why? Coz there are times when all a person needs is to be heard and nothing more. So asking this question is an opportunity to know what the other person truly needs.
5. What Truly Matters?
Asking yourself "What truly matters" reminds you of the most important things in life so you don't get drowned by the loudest but meaningless and insignificant aspects of life. So this is the question to ask yourself when making big decisions in life. This would help you assess if what you're considering is in sync with what truly matters in your life. It makes it easier then to answer with a yes or no.
At the end of the book, Ryan gave a bonus question which he got from a poem that says:
“And did you get what you wanted from life, even so?”
At the onset, you would think it's a question that you should ask towards the end of your life but Ryan said that it's a question that you should ask even today. This question forces you to reflect if you are satisfied with how your life has turned out/turning out to be. And if you're not, the good news is there's still time to make some changes.
