The secret to having self-discipline and self-control

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Do you think the reason why you can’t build and maintain good habits is because you lack the self-discipline? That maybe a myth because according to the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, there is no difference between people who appear to have self-control and those who don’t. He says that people who are most self-disciplined are just better in structuring themselves in this way, they spend less time in tempting situations which doesn’t require self-control. It’s easier to use self-restraint when you don’t have to use it often. Makes sense, right?

So the way to improve ourselves is not by wishing we had more self-control but by creating a more disciplined environment.

To build good habits, we need to make the cues for the habits highly visible and obvious and reset our place so that the environment is friction-less to perform the good habits.  For example, if you want to develop an exercise habit, bring out your rubber shoes and whatever you need for your workout the night before. 

If you want to eat healthy, have ready-to-eat pre-cut fruits in your fridge so there’s healthy food available any time you want to eat.

If you want to develop a writing habit, have your writing materials ready on your desk everyday.

If you want to regularly go to the gym, find a gym that is close to your home or office. Distance would create friction since traveling requires extra effort.

Or whatever good habit you want to build, join a group where your desired behavior is the normal behavior. After all, according to the Atomic Habits, we tend to imitate the habits of 3 social groups namely the close (friends), the many (the tribes) and the powerful (those with status and prestige).

In the same way, if we want to stop bad habits, we need to increase friction so we don’t end up doing them or simply avoid tempting situations.  For example, if you want to lessen time watching tv, unplug it after every use and remove the batteries of the remote control, so it takes a lot of effort before you can use the tv.

 
If you want to lessen time spent on social media, log out every time you use it or change passwords frequently that chances are, you won’t remember the last password and have to reset the password every time you use social media.  Or to add another level of friction, uninstall the app after every use and reinstall it every time you need to use it.  

If you are trying to lose weight, stop hanging out with friends who love to eat out.  Just do other activities with them that doesn’t involve eating or you can meet them for coffee or tea instead. 

The key to self-discipline is we have to redesign our life so that the habits that benefit us are the easiest to do and the habits that don’t add value to our life are the most difficult to do.  

It's great to know that self-discipline doesn’t require superpowers after all (yay!😅) - but that is only if we don’t subject ourselves to the wrong cues and tempting situations.