How to develop and maintain good habits

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You know how sometimes we set personal goals like read xx books, lose xx lbs, learn how to play xx instrument, write a book, but never get around accomplishing them coz it takes a lot of time and effort?  According to the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, we need to reframe our minds coz the goal is not to read xx books but to become a reader, the goal is not to run a marathon but become a runner, the goal is not to play an instrument but become a musician.  He says if we engrain something into our identity, we are more likely to act in alignment with that identity allowing us to build habits.

Most people are clear with their goals and results, he says, but not how to achieve the them.  If you know the target outcome, you can work back by thinking about what kind of person could achieve the results e.g. if you want to lose 40 lbs, ask yourself who is the type of person who could lose 40 lbs?  Most likely someone who is conscious of what he/she eats, exercises regularly and tracks his/her weight, right?  So embody that fitness conscious image and do the those actions that would reinforce that image. If you want to be healthy, ask yourself what does a healthy person do e.g. what kind of food would he/she order from a restaurant menu, what kind of food would he/she cook for himself/herself, how often would he/she exercise, etc. then embody that health-conscious image and do actions that would reinforce the image.

If you want to get into reading, you can start by saying and believing that you're the type of person who likes to read.  What are the characteristics of a person who likes to read?  Most likely, he/she reads everyday, right?  So to reinforce this reader identity, you have to do actions in alignment with this image so you read everyday -  even if it's just one page a day.  If you want to have an identity of someone who loves to exercise, do actions in alignment with this image so you exercise everyday -  even if it's just for 15 minutes. The key is to repeat the behavior because -

The more you repeat the behavior the more you reinforce your association with that behavior.

Repeated actions = evidence that you’re that person

In developing a habit, u need repetition not perfection.

If you want to develop a daily journal habit, it could be just writing 1 sentence per day.  If you want to develop a daily exercise habit, one pushup is better than not exercising at all.  If you want to develop a reading habit, one minute of reading is better than not picking up a book.  It’s better to do less of what you hoped you would do versus do nothing at all.

Then once you've succeeded in repeating the action, you can scale up e.g. instead of reading 1 page a day, start reading 10 pages a day, later on do 20 pages per day. Instead of exercising for 15 minutes, start exercising for  30 minutes, then later on, do 1 hour workouts.   

I've first read about setting identity-based goals (e.g. I'm the type of person who loves to exercise or doesn't miss workouts) versus performance-based goals (I want to be healthy) years ago and it actually worked for me in developing an exercise habit (though my exercise activities have changed since then).  

When you have repeated a belief or story to yourself for years, you become that.   Thus, make sure you are highly conscious of the beliefs and identities you associate yourself with because if you say “I’m not good with technology”, or “I’m not good in math”, that becomes a fact and you would resist all actions related to technology or math.   But here's some great news - identities are not cast in stone and we can be whatever we want to be.  So 

decide what kind of person u want to be by completing the statement - I’m the type of person who.... -  then prove it to yourself with small wins.  Clear said that you don’t have to win all the time but you have to win the majority of the time.  

Just a word of caution when deciding on identities -  don’t make it role-based  e.g. I’m a good athlete, I’m a good business executive, I’m a vegan, etc. because if it’s limited to a single belief, you’ll be less capable to adapt when that role changes.  For example, if you define yourself as a vegan but suddenly have a health condition that requires you to change your diet, you’ll have an identity crisis.  If you define yourself as an athlete or a CEO but one day retires, you’ll begin to question what are you then?  The key is to have trait-based identities so even if your role changes, you’ll be able to transcend whatever challenges come your way.  For example, instead of defining yourself as a good athlete, you can define yourself as a type of person who is mentally tough and loves physical challenges.  Instead of defining yourself as an entrepreneur, you can define yourself as a type of person who creates and builds things.  This way, even if your life drastically changes, you’ll be able to cope and not lose yourself along the way.